One of the biggest problems that people with mental health issues have is their perception of themselves. The Church hasn’t been of much help in this, focusing on sin and depravity more than focusing on how God actually thinks about us. We think many thoughts daily that are unworthy of our grand position in Christ–and this goes for both believers and non-believers, for ‘God is no respecter of persons’. His opinion of us stands, no matter what.
I’ve collected a few quotes here that may help with this.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you. (Psalm 139)
I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of. For to have been thought about—born in God’s thoughts—and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, most precious thing in all thinking. – George MacDonald
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which,if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. – C.S. Lewis
While I sort through various mental detritus, I thought I’d take a self-serving moment to define what this blog is about. (And what’s more appropriate for a self-serving post than a self-serving song to go with it? ‘Stephen Stephen’ by The Apples In Stereo isn’t about me, but it is a catchy song, and it spells my name the same way I do.)
‘Clear thinking’, the phrase you’ll see across the header of this blog and my social media accounts, is something I strive for. It doesn’t mean that I necessarily have clear thinking on all things. It’s just easier to say than ‘striving for clear thinking’. But having lived through nearly four decades, being on the recovering end of a nervous breakdown, and having the perspective of a former Charismatic and Republican, I think I have a few things to say about Jesus, politics, and mental health.
Every week, it seems, I will get into verbal fights with others on Twitter, mostly with liberals, occasionally with liberal Christians (the most contradictory and annoying creatures on the planet). They call me names and I’m not always polite in return. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find confrontation like that fun, on occasion. It adds spice to an otherwise boring life. And in the end, I hope that my arguments are persuasive. Jesus didn’t mince words when talking to the Pharisees about their hypocrisy and lies. I’ve been ‘mincing’ less and less lately. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s necessary in order to wake people up.
You can vote for Hillary if you want to. The Democrats are determined to destroy this country by replacing its native population through amnesty, welcoming every Third World person into our fold. They are determined to take our Second Amendment rights away, which means that when said immigrants become violent, as statistics prove, that we won’t be able to defend ourselves. And Democrats are determined to remain in power forever, by ensuring that far-left Supreme Court justices can strike down any law or restriction put in place to curtail the moral rot that has infested our nation.
You can vote for Trump. He will likely come in like a wrecking ball–sorry for that image of Miley Cyrus–but he will shake up establishment rule and most likely guarantee a different future for our country–and just about any vision for this country is better than Hillary’s. Making America Great Again is much better than Making America Even Worse.
You don’t have to vote if you don’t want to. #NeverTrump-ers are delusional, as is anyone who claims that Trump and Hillary are the same. (They’re not.) But believing lies–or telling yourself lies–enough times will convince you that the lies are true, and you have the right to be an idiot.
You can continue to live in doctrinal error. I left the Charismatic movement–anything claiming to be ‘Spirit-filled’ or ‘independent’ or ‘non-denominational’ or ‘prophetic’ behind, and became an Anglican. I wanted roots in a lasting tradition passed down from the Apostles, the Nicene Creed, the Sacraments like communion, and grounded in Holy Scripture. While I recognize that Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodox churches are probably closer to the mark, I’m not ready to give up the link to Protestant theology. We’ll see what happens. All I know is that I’ve found a home in the Anglican tradition, and I’m much happier there. I feel like I’m putting down roots, instead of the feeling of not being connected with the Body of Christ. It’s a wonderful place to be.
I used to be really, really messed up in the head. It was undiagnosed and untreated mental illness that led to my nervous breakdown a few years back. I didn’t know how to ask for help, and when I did ask for help, the church we were going to would try to cast a demon out of me, then treat me as a second-class citizen the rest of the time. I didn’t know why I was depressed and wanted to commit suicide for so long. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me–why I felt like I was constantly being torn apart from the inside–until my doctor put a label on it: anxiety. I never would have known.
Throughout the experience of my breakdown and subsequently working with family and counselors to putting the pieces back together, I’ve learned a few things: besides the fact that being mentally ill sucks, I find that many, many people in the Church suffer from mental illness, and they don’t know it.
They act weird not because they have a demon, but because they have bipolar disorder or another chemical imbalance. I’m not ruling out the existence of demons–certainly the Bible has a few things to say about them–but I think that the vast majority of cases where someone is called spiritually oppressed is actually untreated mental illness. There’s a stigma attached with mental illness. Nobody wants to be around a crazy person, even in the Church. It’s my job, my responsibility, to help shake things up, to get people in the Church to realize that these people need help, and that casting out a demon and calling them fixed, or keeping these individuals out of sight of the public, isn’t going to work. I am working on myself so I can not only become an authority on mental health, but also to get the people skills necessary to persuade others that it’s vital for these individuals to get treatment–they don’t just need sympathy, but they need to get their lives back so they can life happy, healthy, and productive lives.
This is what clear thinking means to me: a progressive revelation of who Christ is, understanding humanity, and understanding myself. In order for me to promote clear thinking, I have to become clear in thought myself. I can’t say that I’m ‘there’ yet, nor do I believe in this lifetime that I will ever truly reach a ‘there’ (we’re always learning!), but I believe that I will progressively become a more knowledgeable person and will be able to help others who are in need. That’s another part of clear thinking: knowing that something needs to be done, and knowing how to make it happen.
There is a funny introductory track to a wildly-inappropriate album I used to listen to as a teenager that ends with the phrase, ‘…lean back and just enjoy the melodies. After all, music soothes even the savage beast.’
As a highly sensitive individual (an introverted type who has much more sensitivity to certain things than others; see the book ‘Quiet‘ and the web site Quiet Revolution for more), one of my main sensitivities is to music. This has caused both great joy and great distress in my life, and in this post I hope to help you navigate through the worst and the best of what having such a thing entails.