This morning something weird happened. It will sound extremely normal, probably boring, to anyone who has never suffered with mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, shame, fear, and guilt. But my three ‘things’ in life are Jesus, politics, and mental health, as you’ll note from the web site, so if you’re interested, you’re going to get quite a bit of all of this.
What happened this morning? I noticed that an artist I liked had a new album on Spotify. This artist’s music got me through some very miserable times, where I was so locked up in misery that I couldn’t put words to it. It was just an unusually strong season of mental and emotional pain.
Over the past few years, I’ve become a bit of an amateur psychologist as I’ve studied myself, trying to figure out all the things that are wrong with me. It’s been my second full-time job. So I tried a little experiment. I knew as soon as I turned on this artist’s music, that I would hear her voice and all of the shame and misery would come back. It would trigger all of that nonsense and I would be miserable. Maybe it’s a little sadistic of me, but I just knew that it would happen, and I did it anyway.
And then nothing happened.